


Anchor

by scarletmanuka



Category: 9-1-1 (TV)
Genre: Day At The Beach, Family Feels, Fluff, M/M, Overcoming Trauma, Post-Tsunami, Protective Eddie Diaz (9-1-1 TV), Selfless Buck, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, buck is the best
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-10
Updated: 2021-01-10
Packaged: 2021-03-14 03:27:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,636
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28663923
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/scarletmanuka/pseuds/scarletmanuka
Summary: Before going to summer camp, Christopher wants to overcome his fear of the water by going to the beach. But he won't go without his Buck.
Relationships: Evan "Buck" Buckley/Eddie Diaz (9-1-1 TV)
Comments: 18
Kudos: 410





	Anchor

“Buck, I need your help.”

Buck’s head snapped up at the desperate tone in Eddie’s voice and he was nodding before he even knew what his best friend needed. “Anything, you know that.”

Eddie sighed and moved to sit next to Buck on the bench in the locker room. “You know how Christopher is going to summer camp?”

Buck’s lips pursed. He still wasn’t one hundred percent sold on the idea of Chris spending two weeks away from home but he also knew that he didn't really have a say in the matter since Chris wasn’t actually his kid. No matter how much he wished he was. “Yeah?”

“Well, we got the itinerary yesterday and they’re going to be spending some time at the beach.”

“Seriously? They’re taking a bunch of kids to the beach?” Buck asked, aghast. “How many adults will be supervising? Will they even _be_ adults or just teenagers? What’s the ratio of trained lifeguards to children? What’s the -”

Eddie raised a hand to cut him off. “I checked all of that stuff with Hen, since Denny’s been before. I’m not worried about it being unsafe...but Christopher is.”

Buck sighed and sank his head into his hands. “He’s still frightened of the ocean from the tsunami?”

“Yeah.”

It made sense and honestly, Buck kinda agreed with Christopher - he himself hadn’t been near the ocean since that day and he wasn’t particularly sure if he wanted to or not. “I’m sure there will be other kids who don’t swim or want to go. Surely they’ll have alternate activities planned for them?”

Eddie let out a long breath. “That’s not the problem. Christopher _wants_ to go to the beach with the other kids.”

“Oh.”

“Yeah, but he knows that he’s scared so he asked me last night if I could take him to the beach before he leaves, help him get over his fear so he can enjoy camp.”

“Okay, that makes sense. So what do you need me for?”

Eddie smiled and it made Buck’s heart melt just a little to see such a trusting smile aimed at him. “Christopher also asked if you could come with us. He trusts you to keep him safe in the water and he wants to tackle his fears with you beside him.”

That was it - Buck’s heart was officially a puddle of goo. There was absolutely _nothing_ that he wouldn’t do for Chris and if it meant spending a day at the beach, then so be it. “Name a date and time,” he said immediately, and Eddie beamed at him.

oOoOo

They had the second weekend before camp off work together and so early Saturday morning Buck pulled up at the Diaz house dressed in board shorts and flip flops, a beach towel slung over his shoulder. Eddie was loading up his truck with a cooler and their own gear, hanging half outside the vehicle and Buck took a moment to appreciate the view of his ass while it was on display. “Hey,” he called as Eddie clambered out of the back seat.

“Hey, Buck, how’s things?”

“The sun is shining, it’s going to be a warm day, and I get to spend it with my two favourite people in the world. Things are pretty damn good.”

Eddie beamed at him and bumped their shoulders together as they fell into step alongside one another as they walked up the path. “Hopefully it’ll be a good day.”

“Of course it will. Now, where’s Christopher?”

He heard the sound of Christopher’s crutches on the floorboards before the door was even open and had an armful of the kid as soon as the door opened. “Buck!” he cried.

“Hey, little man,” Buck said, hugging him back tightly. “How did you know I was here?”

“I was watching out the window, silly,” Christopher said with a laugh.

“Oh, like some super spy, huh? You gonna be the next James Bond?”

“I don’t know who that is,” Christopher admitted, looking confused.

“Right, you won’t have seen any of those movies yet. Well, how about the next Black Widow. She’s a spy.”

Christopher broke into a grin. “Yeah!”

“Well, before somebody can start his new life of mystery and intrigue, he has to make sure that he has his water bottle packed,” Eddie said, giving his son a pointed look.

“Okay,” Chris said, making it sound like it was the most onerous task in the world. 

“The sooner you’re ready to go, mijo, the sooner we can actually leave,” Eddie told him.

Christopher’s steps became much more hurried.

Buck couldn’t help but smile. “He seems more excited than I would have thought he’d be.”

Eddie shrugged. “He’s excited to be spending time with his Buck.”

Christopher was back, his Spider-Man drink bottle hanging off the strap around his wrist and he walked past them to the door. “Come on, slow coaches!”

“Well, I guess we’ve been summoned,” Buck said.

“That we have,” Eddie agreed. “Okay let’s get this show on the road!”

Despite it being early, it was LA and so traffic was still pretty heavy. They cranked the radio and sang along at the top of their voices, played Eye Spy to celebrate Chris’s new status as a secret agent, and pulled through a McDonald’s drive-thru for coffees and hot chocolate. It wasn’t long before they were nearing the coast and Buck tried to avoid the obvious signs of the tsunami.

The rubble and debris had been cleared but the scars of the wave were still visible. Empty lots sat where buildings were yet to be rebuilt, darker asphalt dotted the streets where the water had washed the roads away, and places where Buck recalled dense foliage had been all but cleared, leaving behind a few lonely looking palm trees. They were heading to a stretch of beach quite near to where the pier was currently under construction as the ‘tourist’ areas had been cleaned up the fastest. There were still areas up and down the coast that weren’t safe due to remaining debris and Buck didn’t think it would help Christopher overcome his fears if the water wasn’t clear.

They pulled into the carpark and had their choice of a space since it wasn’t even mid-morning yet. Eddie took their empty coffee cups and ran them to the bin while Buck helped Christopher out of the car. The boy had gotten much quieter when the ocean had come into view and he seemed to be doing his best to avoid looking at it. “You okay there, buddy?” Buck asked.

Christopher nodded but he clung to Buck’s neck, not wanting to be put down.

“Hey, look at those clouds,” he said, pointing upwards, hoping to distract Christopher. “Doesn’t that one look like a dinosaur?”

“Um...kind of,” Christopher said, squinting up at the sky.

Eddie had returned and he peered upwards as well. “I think it’s more like a kangaroo.”

“No, it’s Scooby Doo!” Christopher suddenly shouted. “See, there are his ears!”

“Oh yeah, definitely Scooby,” Buck agreed. Eddie grabbed the cooler and their bags from the car as Buck pointed to another cloud. “What about that one? It’s a pretty interesting shape.”

“Hmm, maybe a circus tent?”

Buck chuckled. “Do you think Scooby is going to watch the circus? Or do you think that he’ll be _in_ the circus?” They had started to walk down the path between the dunes to the shore.

Christopher pursed his lips as he thought. “I think he’ll be going to watch but something will happen and he’ll end up being part of the show.”

Buck nodded. “That sounds exactly like something that would happen to Scooby.”

“He’ll probably find out that the Ringmaster is behind the theft of old Mrs Johnson’s family jewels,” Eddie said with a laugh.

By the time they had found a good spot to settle down on the sand, Christopher had calmed down. He pointed out a few more funny shaped clouds as they shook their towels out and weighed them down with their bags. 

“Hey, mijo, do you wanna build a sandcastle?” Eddie asked. He and Buck had discussed their game plan in the lead up to the outing and they’d agreed that they shouldn’t hit the water right away but gradually lead up to it. Once Christopher was used to being back near the ocean then they could go and dip their toes in.

“Alright,” he agreed but it was with less enthusiasm than he’d have had before the tsunami. 

They moved a little ways away from their belongings so they wouldn’t kick sand all over their towels and Eddie unpacked the buckets and spades that he’d brought with them. As Buck helped to fill a bucket with sand, he couldn’t help but notice more than just shells and coral in the sand. There was more rubbish than there would normally be, remnants from the tsunami but luckily nothing big or obvious enough to trigger a panic attack in Christopher. 

They worked steadily for about an hour, ending up with a large, elaborate castle. At first, Christopher had sent Eddie or Buck to fetch water when needed but then Buck convinced him to come with him to watch and by the third time after that, he was comfortable to actually dip his bucket into the waves. The ocean was relatively calm which helped, and he only got his toes wet once. As he planted flags into the turrets, he was relaxed and grinning and Buck held up his hand for a sneaky high five from Eddie when Christopher wasn’t looking. 

“Dad?” Christopher asked, brushing sand off his hands.

“Yeah?”

“Can we go swimming now?”

Buck met Eddie’s eyes and he knew exactly what his friend was thinking - _there was no one in the world more courageous that Christopher._

“Of course we can. Whenever you’re ready.”

Only now did Christopher show any signs of hesitance. He turned to Buck and asked in a small voice, “You’ll come in with me, won’t you?”

Up until now, Buck hadn’t really thought too much about getting into the water himself, choosing instead to focus on Christopher’s comfort levels. He glanced over at the ocean, still lapping reassuringly at the shore close by. An image of the ocean floor, lying exposed to the sky as the water receded, flashed through his mind, followed quickly by the tower of water that rushed towards them at the end of the pier. He felt a shiver go down his spine and his pulse spike but he knew that if he had a panic attack of his own, there would be no way in the world that they’d ever convince Christopher to go in the ocean again. So he took a deep breath, pulled up his big boy pants and said, “Sure I am. It’s getting warm and a dip to cool off sounds great.”

They took a moment to reapply their sunscreen and then Chris was asking to be carried down to the water. He normally needed a hand anyway since he couldn’t use his crutches in the sand but Buck was sure that even if he could manage on his own, he’d be wanting to be carried anyway. He didn’t mind at all however as it gave him something to focus on besides his own raising anxiety.

He stepped up to the shore and they paused, watching as a small wave rolled in. It broke and washed over his feet and he couldn’t help but flinch a little. Eddie’s hand came to sit reassuringly on his lower back and Buck looked over to him and said, “Just colder than I expected.”

Eddie didn’t call him on the lie.

A minute later, Buck looked down at Chris, noting the way that his lower lip was clenched between his teeth. “Shall we go in a little more?”

“Uh huh.”

He waded in a few more feet until the water came up to mid-thigh. Christopher raised his feet in the air, holding them out of the water but as they stood there, he slowly relaxed and lowered them in. 

“You’re doing great, mijo,” Eddie assured him.

Chris gave his dad a small smile and then asked Buck, “Deeper?”

“Sure can, little man. Hold on tight.” He moved forward, the water creeping up and up, making him shiver as it reached his groin, and then again as it washed over his stomach. By the time it was chest deep, Christopher was holding onto him for dear life and he buried his face in Buck’s shoulder.

“Is it too much, Christopher?” Eddie asked. “We can go back out if you need some time.”

Chris shook his head but didn't look up. “I’m good,” he whispered.

They paused there, Buck’s body rocking gently back and forth with the waves, Christopher’s iron grip around his neck easing with each passing minute. Buck looked down into the water, ignoring the visions of debris and death that swam in his mind, forcing himself to see the seaweed, the occasional fish, and the dappled sunlight glinting off the moving water. He kept telling himself that he wasn’t alone this time, that Eddie was with him and if anything happened, he’d have backup. He wouldn’t be trying to save Christopher all by himself.

“You’re doing so well,” Eddie murmured again as he rubbed Christopher’s back but when Buck looked up at him he found that Eddie was looking at him. He offered a small smile at the support and shifted his arms a little to redistribute Christopher’s weight.

“You wanna try having a little swim?” Buck asked Christopher.

He looked unsure.

“Just between me and your dad,” he assured him. “We’ll only be a couple of feet apart and you can swim right from me over to your Dad.”

“Okay.”

They spent about an hour total in the water and Chris grew more and more confident, swimming further and further between them and squealing in delight as a school of fish swam between their legs. Then it was time for lunch and they sat on their beach towels, sandwiches in hand, watching as the beach got busier as it grew even warmer, exchanging pleasant greetings with an older couple who set down their beach chairs not far from them.

Then, with a full belly and warmed by the sun, Christopher fell asleep, slumping against Eddie’s side. 

“You must be so proud of him,” Buck said quietly.

“I am,” Eddie said. “I’m proud of both of you.”

Buck snorted. “You’re proud of me? Why?”

“Because yet again, you’ve put someone else’s comfort above your own.” Eddie shook his head, amazed. “Honestly, Buck, you always do it. It doesn’t matter how hard it is for you, or how much you’re struggling, you drop everything for anyone.”

Buck frowned. “I don’t get it.”

Eddie reached out and clasped his shoulder. “I know you, Buck. You weren’t ready yourself to face the ocean again, and I shouldn’t have asked you to come, that was selfish of me. But Chris begged me to ask you to be here for him and there’s not a hell of a lot that I wouldn’t do for my kid.”

“I know, Eddie, I know,” Buck assured him. “It’s okay.”

Eddie sighed and he seemed to be having trouble organising his thoughts. “It’s just, I know you’ve still been having nightmares about the tsunami, even after all this time, but because you came out the other side, saved all those people, saved _Christopher,_ well, sometimes we forget just how traumatic that day was for you.” He gave a sad shrug. “Then with everything that came afterwards…”

A flare of guilt bloomed in Buck’s chest as he was reminded of that stupid law suit once again. “God, I’m so sorry.”

“No, _don’t._ Don’t you dare apologise again, Buck. That’s not what this is about. That’s water under the bridge, okay? I’m just bringing it up now because it was something else you had to deal with, _alone,_ and after the bombing and the embolism, I just.” His grip on Buck’s shoulder get even tighter. “I’m just saying that you went through _so_ much and it’s no wonder that you haven’t had time yet to heal. And then I go and ask you to come to the beach, like it’s nothing, like I only care about Christopher.”

“I know that’s not true.”

“I know that you know,” Eddie said, a note of what felt like urgency in his voice. “But I asked you to come and you did and you fucking didn’t even think of yourself, you only thought of Chris and you gave him back his confidence. That’s why I’m proud of you, Evan Buckley, because you’re too good for this world. You’re just -” His voice cracked a little - “just too damned _good.”_

Buck’s throat grew a little tight at hearing Eddie’s words and he didn’t know what to say so he just stayed silent. He shuffled a little closer on the towel until their shoulders brushed and then they simply sat, watching Chris sleep, and gulls soar overhead, and the gentle waves break against the shore.

Eddie’s words swirled around Buck’s mind and he realised that his best friend had a point. Buck _hadn’t_ actually faced his own fears, he’d simply set them aside so he could be there for Christopher. Suddenly, he knew what he had to do. “I’ll be back in a little bit,” he said softly.

“Where are you going?”

Buck tilted his head towards the ocean. “Out there.”

Eddie watched him steadily and then simply nodded and Buck knew that he had his back. He stood and made his way down to the water’s edge, not even hesitating before he strode out into the ocean. He kept going until the waves were lapping around his chest and then he paused and allowed his eyes to close.

Immediately he was back there, surrounded by water, and debris, and the dead and dying. He forced himself to take a steadying breath, to acknowledge the memories but to also recognise the differences. He wasn’t in fact being swept along by an insurmountable wall of water, he was standing, moving with the waves, but if he wanted to get out of the ocean this very moment, he could. He could turn and wade back to shore with the barest resistance from the water. He wasn’t trapped, he was in control. 

He was also alone.

His arm shot out, instinctively reaching for Christopher, to make sure that he was safe and as much as he told himself that Chris was fine, that he was asleep on the sand with Eddie, his heart rate still spiked. He drew in another breath, this one more ragged, and he told himself to open his eyes, to simply turn and look towards the beach, that he’d be able to see the boy safe and sound. He couldn’t though, his eyelids were glued shut, not wanting to open, to turn and see the empty space on the firetruck where Christopher had been. Not wanting to see the proof of his failure. Not wanting to feel the sucker punch to his gut when he realised that he’d lost Eddie’s son.

A sound very much like a sob escaped Buck’s throat but he still couldn’t move, couldn’t open his eyes, and his heart continued to hammer out a tattoo against his rib cage. And then something brushed his waist and he startled, flinching back, images of the dead rushing past him in the dirty water.

“Shh, shhh, it’s me, it’s just me,” Eddie said, and then the touch was back, firmer this time and Buck recognised Eddie’s hands. 

They slotted onto his hips like they had always meant to find their home there. Eddie simply stood there, grounding Buck, being his anchor. Slowly Buck’s body relaxed as the memories left him but he still felt compelled to ask, “Christopher?”

Then Eddie’s hands were moving, urging him to turn around and a soft hand cupped Buck’s cheek. “Open those baby blues, Buck,” he whispered.

Buck’s eyes fluttered open and he winced against the bright sunlight. The first thing that came into focus was Eddie’s face, his eyes warm with concern. “He’s there, where I left him,” he assured Buck. “See, I asked that couple next to us to keep an eye on him.”

Buck looked up and saw Christopher asleep on the sand. Eddie had opened an umbrella to keep the sun off him and only a few feet away was the couple, talking to one another. His heart unclenched when he saw Chris safe and he slumped against Eddie. “Thank God,” he whispered.

“You kept him safe, Buck, you made sure he came home to me,” Eddie murmured and then he felt warm lips press against his temple. “Now the only question is, are _you_ ready to come home to me?”

Buck raised his head and looked at Edide. “I don’t understand.”

“Buck, you’ve been trapped in the past, in everything that’s happened and I’ve not been able to reach you.”

“But I’m right here in front of you.”

Eddie smiled softly at him and stroked a thumb across his cheek. “I don’t want you in front of me, Buck. I want you by my side. I want you to come home, with me, with us.”

Buck swallowed hard. “You mean like, forever?”

Eddie nodded. “Yes, like forever.”

Buck nodded. “Of course I will.”

Eddie’s lips found his in a sweet kiss and then he reached into the water and tangled their fingers together. “Come on then, let’s get our boy and go home.”

Buck felt like he was being swept away by the current but this time it wasn’t caused by a tsunami wave, he was simply following his heart, following him home.   
  



End file.
